I found this commentary by Kait Dugan on Brian LePort‘s site – their respective blogs are

http://kaitdugan.blogspot.com & http://nearemmaus.com/.

(Her blog entry follows these comments, which are mine)

Earlier in the day, I was listening to a radio commentary by a female minister who was talking about her husband and the vows that they had made to one another, on their wedding day. In a complementation fashion he had asked to let him ‘make all the big decision’ and that she would make all the ‘minor ones’ – and after 25 years of marriage, in egalitarian fashion – or so it would seem – she said that ‘all the decisions had been minor’.  This was an interesting thing to hear, as I had been thinking all day about another friends’ strong egalitarian assertions; insofar as she had written to me that she, more or less, could not tolerate any kind of complementarian essence/doctrine on the part of a presumed date (she is single, and presumably looking).

Those who know me – would probably assume that I would jump dialectical on this, and say ‘why can’t it be both?’ I think that Kait does a good job of showing the presumptions and fallacies that run amok in both extremes. I don’t fit into either category explicitly – and would probably find myself asking the same of my own wife – and then living a life that never really required such ‘big decisions;’ as it would seem to be my conviction that if there really is a strong bond woven between two individuals across multiple parts of their beings, that all decisions (in this light) would be minor. For grounds on just how a husband could earn the right to make such a big decisions, were it to appear – would seem to my, in my own perspective, to be a matter of earned trust through actual, and not just virtual, mutual servanthood. If I were to counsel any woman on marriage – it would be to live as though there were no ‘major decisions’ but to *marry* as though there were. This is to say – that you should choose a man that you know would have a heart towards not just your protection but also for your freedom.

Her blog: